dwelling

I have been extremely desperate the past couple of months, desperate for what I had, each day being bathed in light. Now my days are a little dim. Dim because I am not faithful always to God, I do not give Him the time of day. That is harsh but a lot of my days end with me regretting not taking the time to just sit and listen. This is not good and I pray that my God will restore the brokenness.


My life is now mundane. Which is beautiful, that is where we learn the most, that is where God equips us. I was reminded of that on Sunday; our pastor is starting a new sermon series on the life of David. Praise God for it, because my principal at Capernwray Bible School did an entire lecture series on the life of David. This sermon series is no doubt a God given reminder. Right now though I have a lot of time to think, some may say too much time.


I was thinking about life, almost panicking in thought. Never do that. Never panic to yourself cause you do not get anywhere with it. Panicking because life is little but it seems like kind of a big deal and I want more of it.


When my heart yearns for something more… I tend to go to the world. What does my family have to offer? Where are my friends? Where do I find peace? What will give me comfort? What can I get?


Where do I take up residence?


The other night I was thinking where should I live, where should I go? I would much rather have my own room and my own space. I would much rather make my own time and my own schedule.


“Dwell in the house of the Lord”
Ummm this just popped into my head. As I was thinking, out of nowhere, these words just came, clear as day. Like I said before hardly any of my time had been dedicated to God in scripture or to Him. I was living in darkness. I felt like that is where I had to be, there was nowhere else for me to go.


He came into my darkness and said, “Hey! What’s up girl?! I know we have not been talking too much or at least you have not made yourself available to me but I am still here, I am always here.” Well He did not say that all He said was “Dwell in MY house” Hearing God speak to you after you have been ignoring Him is a scary thing; there really is no avoiding it. And He makes Himself known.


Out of nowhere, no prayer or anything, at least no prayer on my part, He brought His light and His conviction.


If I dwell in His house, His peace, His truth, His wisdom, His grace, it does not really matter where I am, where I am going, where I have been, what I am doing, what I have done, what I am going to do, who I am with, He will be there. There, here, everywhere.
I do not know if I can explain exactly the assurance this gives me or the slap in the face it felt like but I suppose this is the best I can do. Jesus did die on the cross so I would be saved from darkness, from hopelessness. Kind of a big deal. I feel like Peter a lot of the time; denying that I would ever disown Jesus, then doing it over and over and over again and weeping because I know exactly what I have done.


“I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”

I suppose you can live in any kind of house any town, just before you think about that kind of stuff think about some future heavenly dwelling. Live in the Light.
I’m done talking.

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"

"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep. I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which

Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"
Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who is going to betray you?")

When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?"
Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."
John 21:15-22